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Placebo’s evil Twin

NOCEBO,  the evil step brother of PLACEBO…What you NEED to know !!!

I haven’t shared many samples of our book…I wasn’t even it sure it was allowed. But wth

I hope this helps you understand your MAGNIFICENCE

and the responsibility that goes with it.

There are other writings on the Blog ( about the Placebo but like the world there hasn’t been a lot said about the NOCEBO…I think its time we understand the power of fear…down to a cellular level.

As written in the bookTwenty-Seconds

19 weeks Amazon Bestseller list in Genre

“PLACEBO/NOCEBO I have been consistent in one thought and intention in this book. It repeats over and over again and it is important to reiterate it. I am not here to make you believe anything. I am trying to spark your intuition. I always say it’s better to take an interest and not a position in life. It’s just too damn hard evolving when we’re defending a position. I always remember one thing to be true in life – “opinions are NOT like assholes, in that they should be examined everyday”. It’s important in basic learning that new ideas and new experiences are critical to evolving as a person. One thing is clear about the brain to me. Attach a new experience with great emotion and it is remembered forever. Not unlike why we remember 911 or moments of history where we were effected by great emotion. You can begin to see why I share my long arduous ordeal in great humility. I recognize that healthy skeptics are important to the world, but there are two types. The first is an open minded skeptic that questions things and is at least open to ideas that trigger a response in their gut. These people are the most valuable of all humanity. Then theres the closed minded skeptic. So ingrained with their status quo that they miss the signs placed before them everyday. An exercise in free will until you mandate something. Difficult to expand a closed mind if near impossible. We should in all honesty be skeptical of our skepticism. At a minimum my friend would say…”at least make an educated choice”. If I can make someone stop and think about the many messages my experience taught me then it was all worth it. I am fond of the quote by Ed Sabon and I quote…”tell me a fact and I may learn, tell me a truth and I may believe, but tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever”. So I tell my story whenever I can. What you do with it is up to you. I am careful about trying to convince you of anything, but in this chapter I will take both and interest and a position. Because it’s that important. Again, what you do with it as always is up to you. Remember this – if you think it will make a difference or not, you will always be right. If you can’t take any lesson from my miracle survival and countless examples of suffering that surely create emotion, then this chapter will never make an impact with you. It is clear to me that self love is an important tool in our life. Not just because its positive effect on your existence, but it is also a shield against the haters and skeptics that will nocebo you to a point of crisis. It’s best to understand the responsibility we have in the energy we put forth in this world. Like our lives depend on it. Because they do. I have never been more certain of any one of my epiphanies after my mystical and powerful experience than one I bleed into this chapter. Each time I had an epiphany the universe responded by placing someone more qualified to speak about it than I was, reaffirming for me that not only were my epiphanies correct, but they were for a purpose. I believe wholeheartedly that I survived to show the example of this very miracle. I am often asked if my NDE was the cause of my remarkable healing without an immune system? Was it God? Everyone has an opinion and I respect them all. But in this chapter I will tell you exactly what saved me time and time again and it’s irrefutable to me and others. There are two terms you will need to be familiar with to better understand this chapter. One you have heard of but the other possibly not. I quote below the exact text of wikipedia as to the origins and meaning. Not because wikipedia is the end all of information but because it’s detailed and informative, simply put. The real meaning as always is what you make of it, but we will do it based on some education at a minimum. Placebo in history is the account of the changing understanding of the phenomena of the placebo effect and term “placebo”. The word was first used in a medicinal context in the late 18th century to describe a “commonplace method or medicine” and in 1811 it was defined as “any medicine adapted more to please than to benefit the patient”. Although this definition contained a derogatory implication[1] it did not necessarily imply that the remedy had no effect. I suspect there is great synchronicity to the divine in the origin of the term. The word placebo itself originated from the Latin for I shall please. It is in Latin text in the Bible (Psalm 116:9, Vulgate Version by Jerome, “Placebo Domino in regione vivorum”, “I shall please the Lord in the land of the living”). Jerome translated as “I shall please” (placebo), the Hebrew word “ethalech”, “I shall walk with” as in “I shall be in step with In modern times the first to define and discuss the “placebo effect” was T.C Graves, in a published paper in The Lancet in 1920 . He spoke of “the placebo effects of drugs” being manifested in those cases where “a real psychotherapeutic effect appears to have been produced” At the Royal London Hospital in 1933, William Evans and Clifford Hoyle experimented with 90 subjects and published studies which compared the outcomes from the administration of an active drug and a dummy simulator (“placebo”) in the same trial. The experiment displayed no significant difference between drug treatment and placebo treatment, leading the researchers to conclude that the drug exerted no specific effects in relation to the conditions being treated. A similar experiment was carried out by Harry Gold, Nathaniel Kwit and Harold Otto in 1937, with the use of 700 subjects. In 1946, the Yale biostatistician and physiologist E. Morton Jellinek described the “placebo reaction” or “response”. He probably used the terms “placebo response” and “placebo reaction” as interchangeable. Henry K. Beecher’s 1955 paper The Powerful Placebo was the first to use the term “placebo effect”, which he contrasts with drug effects. In 1961, Beecher found [17] that patients of ‘enthusiastic’ surgeons experienced greater levels of chest pain relief than those receiving treatment from skeptic surgeons. In 1961, Walter Kennedy introduced the word nocebo to refer to a neutral substance that creates harmful effects in a patient who takes it. This not new information in our time. Nearly everywhere you look you hear the term. If you don’t, you will now I assure you. But have you ever heard of the term Nocebo? Source wikipedia NOCEBO In medicine, a nocebo (Latin for “I shall harm”) is an inert substance that creates harmful effects in a patient. The nocebo effect is the adverse reaction experienced by a patient who receives a nocebo. Conversely, a placebo is an inert substance that creates either a beneficial response or no response in a patient. The phenomenon by which a placebo creates a beneficial response is called the placebo effect. In contrast to the placebo effect, the nocebo effect is relatively obscure. The term nocebo (Latin nocēbō, “I shall harm”, from noceō, “I harm”) ] was coined by Walter Kennedy in 1961 to denote the counterpart of one of the more recent applications of the term placebo. It has been shown that, due to the nocebo effect, warning patients about side effects of drugs can contribute to the causation of such effects, whether the drug is real or not. This effect has been observed in clinical trials: according to a 2013 review. Wikipedia The same mind-body power that can heal you can also harm you. When patients in double-blinded clinical trials are warned about the side effects they may experience if they’re given the real drug, approximately 25% experience sometimes severe side effects, even when they’re only taking sugar pills. Those treated with nothing more than placebos often report fatigue, vomiting, muscle weakness, colds, ringing in the ears, taste disturbances, memory disturbances, and other symptoms that shouldn’t result from a sugar pill. Interestingly, these nocebo complaints aren’t random; they tend to arise in response to the side effect warnings on the actual drug or treatment. The mere suggestion that a patient may experience negative symptoms in response to a medication (or a sugar pill) may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. source wikipedia For example, if you tell a patient treated with a placebo he might experience nausea, he’s likely to feel nauseous. If you suggest that he might get a headache, he may. Patients given nothing but saline who thought it was chemotherapy actually threw up and lost their hair! Amazing when you consider government guidelines that mandate the side effects of each medication be published carefully exposing you to the dangers. Makes me wonder if that’s an accident. Who exactly are the biggest contributors to any political campaign? The pharmaceutical industry. It’s the largest lobby in the world and it is reported as the second most profitable business in the world behind Oil. Triggering side effects? You need more medicine to mask that symptom created by the first medicine and so on and so on and so on. During my life-saving treatment my medication list grew to nearly five pages. Each medicine prescribed to cover up one symptom caused by another drug. What’s worse is I knew it intuitively that this wasn’t the way to go. After ten months I gave up treatment and stopped all medicines. In two months I was cured of everything…except the HIV. It’s humbling to know that the two medicines I take keep me alive and suppress the virus from possible spreading. Three months without these antivirals and I am dead. Or so I think. For now that works for me. I get the facet we are talking about here, but I still am not strong enough sometimes to shed 40 plus years of dogma served up by a society that believes medicine is the key to every cure. I beg to differ and my experience is definitive proof of it. What is clearly evident to me is this – if you think it can heal you or harm you….YOU’RE RIGHT. But there’s more to consider. Dr. Lissa Rankin is a pioneer in the field of Placebo and Nocebo study and to my knowledge is one of the first MD’s to stand up and talk about it. I have great respect for someone who stands up to do the right moral thing. I encourage you to watch her videos on youtube. They will quite simply change the way you think. She says “Every time your doctor tells you you have an “incurable” illness or that you’ll be on medication for the rest of your life or that you have a 5% five year survival, they’re essentially cursing you with a form of “medical hexing.” They don’t mean to. They’re not trying to harm you. They know not what they do… Doctors think they’re telling it to you straight, that you deserve to know, that you should be realistic and make arrangements, if necessary. But when they say such things, they instill in your conscious and subconscious mind a belief that you won’t get well, and as long as the mind holds this negative belief, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you’ll never recover, you won’t. After reading through the 3500+ case studies documented in the medical literature in the Spontaneous Remission Project(link is external), which was compiled by the Institute of Noetic Sciences(link is external), I now believe there’s no such thing as an incurable illness. If you or someone you love is suffering from a “chronic,” “incurable,” or “terminal” illness and you want to optimize the chance for spontaneous remission, you have to start by cleansing your mind of any negative beliefs that will sabotage your self-healing efforts.” Source LISSA RANKIN MD Dr. Rankin says the Placebo effect has been a “thorn in the side of the medical establishment for fifty years.” She is right and it’s not going away. Denial and fear are rampant. Instead of understanding the flow of life we resist the signs in front of us as a direct threat to a trillion dollar industry. . Nearly every drug trial includes the placebo and there is a reason. The pharmaceuticals exclude immediately those having a placebo effect from their trials. lol! Disconcerting ! Can’t understand them? Hide them I guess. But the evidence is mounting and it’s haunting. We can literally heal ourselves. But we’ve been conditioned all of our lives to think we can’t. Let’s be clear about a couple things about our rearing – it wasn’t malice that led us to these understandings of our limitations, we just didn’t understand it all. But there are breakthroughs every single day with our new connectedness via the internet. It’s time to start paying attention isn’t it? Have you ever heard of the fact that a baby at birth can swim, yet why a few years later can’t they. Well it’s pretty simple. They were taught that water is dangerous. Fear changes everything. Fear Kills. We didn’t do it on purpose, we just didn’t know. We were taught, among other things, limitations and it is this aspect we have crippled basic creativity. Growing up brought with us limitations when we were told to color inside the lines, you can’t do this or that. More importantly, you can’t believe this or that. This part might be the most damaging. Corform was the rule of the day and it makes some sense. But conform to a society standard set down by mostly marketing and excess. I think we can see through that and so do you. Ever wonder why children see spirits? They haven’t been tainted with a belief they can’t yet, but most will sadly. It is clear to me one thing about life – it’s not so much finding the truths as it is uncovering the untruths or limitations we were branded with. Children and animals can teach us volumes of the 90 % we are missing of the electromagnetic spectrum that much is clear. No nocebos for them. I am certainly not blaming generations of parents with the right intent but as time has changed so to must we. Imagine a world where are children were raised thinking “anything is possible”. Potential expands as would our collective consciousness. Its nearly impossible not to. What is even more disturbing is that the power of the mind may just be limitless. But you were told differently. Seeing is believing we often hear. But I suspect it’s more like, believing leads to seeing. During trials of Rogaine the people given a placebo, grew hair. Think of all the medications that worked right up to the point someone disproved it. Results of ineffectiveness sky rocket. Chemo worked for awhile until the point where people sat back and questioned it. Now more than ever people are choosing different methods to treat their cancer. There are endless examples of the Placebo effect and I share with you but just a few. In the 1950’s one of the original cases that helped spawned drug trials to include Placebo trials, Dr. West had a patient diagnosed with advanced stage Lymphosarcoma named Mr Wright. Mr. Wright had heard of a new miracle drug called Krebiozen and pestered Dr. West for the trial. Having been admitted into the hospital, Dr. West finally agreed to the treatment as tumors in Wright’s neck and armpits were the size of oranges and he was now bedridden with weakness. On a clear Friday afternoon, Dr. West administered the miracle drug and went home not sure if Wright would be there on Monday, but he had hope. Upon returning Monday, Dr. West found his patient up and walking. Upon further examination he found the tumors had literally shrunk to half their size in three days. After ten days they were completely gone. For the next two months Wright was living the highlif. Certain of the miracle cure until he came across an article that reported Krebiozen has some holes in it. The article questioned the validity of the drug. Wright sunk into depression and not surprisingly the cancer came back. This time Dr. West, having been so convinced at his theory, decided to be a little sneaky. He explained to his patient that the previous batch of the drug was tainted. He convinced Wright that this new batch was pure and definitive. Wright agreed and the one time treatment was administered. However the difference was Dr. West gave him a shot of pure distilled water. Once again within days the tumors disappeared and Wright was cured. For the next two months he lived happily and peacefully with no fear of his cancer until the American Medical Association wrote an article completely debunking the Krebiozen as worthless which of course Mr Wright found accordingly. Two days later Wright died. Stories of actual case files like these are numerous and plentiful. There are enough of these stories to fill hundreds of books. I am certain the pharmaceutical industry is helping publish all of them. NOT. The stories aren’t just about medication either. A case reported in Scientific America, as well as the New England Journal of Medicine, haunts us even further with the simplicity of it all as even surgical examples were being reported. In this one case example, a group of 180 patients all suffering from osteoarthritis of the knee were placed into three separate surgical treatment control groups. The first two groups were the two accepted standards for treatment of the knee issue. The first group was Surgical Debridement where cartilage would be cut away. The second group was Surgical lavage where they would open it up and flush out the bad cartlidge. The third group was the Sham Surgery Where they would make incisions and do nothing to the cartilage. Neither the patient nor the health care providers knew except the surgeons. For two years they followed the three groups measuring pain levels and activity levels. Amazingly the results were even on every group. Virtually and statistically Identical. This information was not only stunning but it somehow never really made it to most surgeons for obvious reasons. When you try to cite this research, most Doctors will laugh not knowing a thing about it. Alarming to say the least. The ramifications of the study are clear but the one issue that plagues the medical industry is obvious. There are countless examples of this type of placebo as well. Physical proof not just theoretical proof of our inherent power. But how do we convince a lifetime of dogma and clearly a well vested medical industry? Dr. Rankin does give the medical industry a back door of saving grace, and it is in this very doorway that I learned the power of what my sister Kate, and now Carol actually mean to my existence. Heavy burden I realize but it’s truth is in the synchronicity of this research and it’s important. One of the things that proved to be in conjunction with but even more powerful than the Placebo alone is the caregiver or nurturer. It is in this intent that the Placebo takes on the most ultimate power of all. According to Harvard researcher Ted Kapcheck, it isn’t just the mind creating the effect, it is in fact the nurturing care of the provider that flips the switch. The provider is the Placebo in his research. In his research the Doctor told the subjects that they were getting a placebo and to his surprise some still got better. What does this actually tell us? Is this about Love? Certainly true to in my case. How exactly does medical science explain my healing when I had a non functioning immune system? They dont. Kapcheck theorizes that the results were because the patients felt tended and nurtured. The truth meant nothing to their energy levels, the nurturing did. The patients stated they felt like someone cared. Although it is clear the body contains innate healing abilities, what triggers the switch is the nurturer. It’s scientifically sound data and it’s about to spin the medical industry on its ear if they can see through the forest. Doctors are needed after all, as are critical members of family, friends and loved ones. Consider this when you decide how you can help. But remember this – we biologically mirror energy so if you think you’re not being positive it may be best to stay away. I suspect an important lesson for those who were not part of my journey. I thank you for your intuition. It is important during illness that everyone surrounding you remain positive. We need forces of healing not fear when recovering. I think back on those who were absent during my struggle and forgive them for it. Clearly their energy wouldn’t have helped and might have done more harm than good. Nocebo is medical hexing and it should be respected once you understand its power. But dramatically what the research shows is that relationships matter. Statistically proven in fact. Rankin quotes research regarding those of us with strong social networking actually have half the rate of heart disease compared to those who are lonely. Married people live longer than single people. It’s a fact. Those who attend religious services live on an average 14 years longer. People who fail to utilize their vacation with family actually are a third more likely to get heart disease. Overwork is killing many in jobs going nowhere that some just hate. All these things are about attitude and attitude is everything. Happy people actually live 7-10 years longer than unhappy people statistically. Optimists are 77 % less likely to get heart disease than pessimists. The stats she quotes are clearly well researched, but it brings into the question once again of our minds and bodies ability. This is where the basic function of cells comes into play and it’s important. One author who continually and synchronistically crossed my path was Dr. Bruce Lipton PHD. Every time I turned around, I found Dr. Lipton until I finally paid attention to the signs and read his book “The Biology of Belief”. It can become ominous when you believe everything and everyone crosses your path for a purpose. There quite simply isn’t enough time in the day honestly. I have filtered this theory by understanding if it crosses your path more than once, it’s time to pay attention…Three times? Better do something with it. The rest is free will. Dr. Lipton’s research would forever resonate in the lessons I got from my NDE and I don’t just think it’s important, I think it’s critical. It should become mandatory reading for our younger generation. It’s no wonder that Placebo and Nocebo aren’t taught in most Biology classes in our school systems. Hell they aren’t even taught in most medical schools as I have discovered. They are less than 1/10 of 1% of the topic taught in medical school. Some would argue if it’s that high. One clear truth is that in general we are limited in our understanding of consciousness. Nikola Tesla once said “…the day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all previous centuries of its existence.” Amazing insight by a man that Einstein once remarked on. When Einstein once was asked what it was like to the smartest man on the planet. He said “I don’t know, ask Nikola Tesla”. Ironic that something or someone branded Tesla a mad scientist when his beliefs of free energy for everyone became his passion. No money in that I guess. Not far and away from the genius insight of Tesla in my opinion, Dr. Lipton is an internationally recognized authority in Cellular Biology. He taught cellular biology at the University of Wisconsin and later pioneered studies at Stanford and Penn State. He is best known for his discovery of the cellular membrane and its impact. In his book, he further speaks about the two known existences and physiology of cells – one of fear and one of balance. It is irrefutable science but one most have never heard of, not to mention paid attention to. Quite simply, Lipton and others have proven that DNA, although encoded biologically, isn’t the cause and effect of the diseases in our times, but in fact the environment is. The environment being not just the things around us but actually the things inside of us. Our beliefs engage the DNA previously encoded. Let me explain because it’s heavy but remarkably simple. It may just remove a bit of that victim mentality that is so rampant in our world. This will require some scientific knowledge that’s indisputable but I will explain it in lay terms. The DNA is coded with disease from heredity, but it is actually our belief or in most case fear that triggers the gene to activate. Pure and simply our thoughts affects our basic cellular biology which infer our wellness. Not easy to stand up and show the world that the huge money spent on DNA research isn’t the answer. Too late for that. If this information was just present for everyone at an early age we might actually end a good majority of disease in a single generation. More importantly if people paid attention and became more flexible it would never be too late to stop defending any one thing. Money and grants make closed minded skeptics evidently. Imagine that. This maybe the most important point of all. PAY ATTENTION. Both Rankin, Lipton and hundreds of other doctors and scientists state clearly after thousands of hours of research that cells operate in two modes of operation. Never both and only one and it’s directly decided by the mind. One of growth (balance/peace) and one of protection (fight or flight). Every single cell operates in one of these methods. We know from basic biology that each cell makes up a whole. It is the basis for all survival of each cell of a multicellular organism (humans). Stress or hazards stop the growth and balance of the cell as it is perceived by the central nervous system, namely the mind. When we feel a threat, our basic cells activate into a flight or flight status and growth mechanism shuts off completely. Disease begins quickly in this mode and it is clear, and I am sure you have all heard this next one before – stress causes disease. But like me I suspect you didn’t realize how remarkable you really are. When our brains sense a certain fear, our cells stop nurturing and start protecting. Here is something else to consider about fear and stress and our flight or flight response. Not only does it stop growth process of each cell but it actually reroutes brain flow from the brain and other vital organs complicating the matter even further. Its rerouted to the extremities so we might run from the perceived danger just in case, whatever it may. By definition we actually get dumber. Disconcerting. Think the media or Government doesn’t know it. Think marketers haven’t figured this out? Ask yourself why we have been conditioned to drama? Ill let you decide. It is clear and we have all heard this before. Negativity weakens your immune system, pure and simple and definitive. One study showed that we have on average 50 stress responses a day in our brain. Pessimists have double that number at least. If we are lonely or depressed…double it. Activating the relaxation state of cells is the only way to activate a placebo or the caregiver’s intent to help you. We have heard this before but it becomes clearer when science proves it. It really is about love and compassion. My story not excluded. There are a number of ways to decrease our stress and they have been around for generations. Meditation is the quickest one to come to mind. But there are huge numbers of things that bring you joy and relaxation and nearly all of them work if you take the time. These are what I have called “now” moments. Moments in peace and harmony preferably somewhere beautiful. Nature is a big one for me. Either way they are moments you steal away if you have to, but they are obviously super important. Some read, some listen to music. I sometimes find peace and balance listening to Solfeggio Frequencies. They are peaceful recreations of vibrations through sound and they do work. Whatever you think will work, WILL. That much is clear but you have to find the time every day. Seems like someone telling us that the nurturing isn’t just for others. Its needed for ourselves. Whatever works, do more of that ! Lipton calls the placebo and nocebo effect the “perception effect”. What we perceive in our environment triggers the action down to our basic cell. Kind of heavy if you think about it. As I have pointed out countless times, thinking positive isn’t just a sports slogan, it’s nature’s law. If we all understood this basic scientific code, would we choose our mindset more carefully for ourselves? Here is the real question – would we choose to be more careful as to what our mind set means to others? Next time you tell someone that something is bad for them, think about the responsibility you have in perhaps biting your tongue. If you wanna kill yourself with negative attitudes I suspect that’s your free will, but you better be careful around others. Especially the ones that love and respect you the most. It seems clear the more you trust someone the larger the effect of our words. But there’s more. Thoughts activate similar energy patterns via emotion as words if not greater. Not unlike an aura, the basic energy we seep out into the world is driven by our very thoughts. Thoughts are the truest form of personal creation and because creation is our inherent birthright, they contain energy. Point in fact, everything is energy and this too is an absolute in science. Everything hums a resonance. Every piece of matter. Even the air you breathe has energy. The slower the vibration, the denser an object. Even a rock has energy. Water has tons of it. Science does not theorize this basic fact its definitive. The question still remains however….where does it come from. Again I quote Tesla….”if you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration”. Tesla was born in 1890 and died in 1943. We have had the basics of this information for more than 100 years and have done nothing with teaching it. Our very consciousness and thoughts create the perceptual reality for all of us every day, every second. What we perceive just is. If you wanna understand the raw power of the mind, you don’t have to look any further than the smallest muscle group in our body examined in a study done just a short time ago. This will really upset the bodybuilders who agonize at the gym and weight rooms today, but I think it’s quite funny actually. The study group broke a large group of similar individuals into three control groups. The intention was to focus on the finger strength of just one finger for an extended period of time. The first group was given a series of weight exercises repeated everyday to strengthen the muscle just like a weight lifter. The second group was taught the same exercises but monitored and instructed not to actually do them, but to visualize the exercises instead. The third group was told to do nothing and were monitored as well. Amazingly the first two groups both showed the same advancement in both size and strength of this smallest muscle group and the results were stunning. The most remarkable was the third group who did nothing actually showed a 33% increase in the same. Both group two and three literally “never lifted a finger” but there were the results. Indisputable. We are really more remarkable than we realize. I tell the story often and was reminded by my sister that the story explains volumes about the strength of her one finger…the middle finger !!! As it’s either in use driving or at least thought about often enough. But theres more about this conscious energy and its actual cause and effect. In the 1950’s, scientists experimented with energy of thought and emotion. In one room they placed a subject in front of a visual and auditory stimuli that would present various scenes and sounds to trigger an emotional response and thought. In an adjacent room white blood cells from that same subject were placed and attached to sensitive electrical measuring devices. As different scenes appeared for the test subjects, they measured the electrical response in the next room of the cells. What was incredible was that at the exact same time the scene triggered an emotional response. The cells in the other room registered an electrical response. The results were stunning. But to make the results even more mind blowing, the researchers decided to increase the distance to measure the speed of that response. The experiment stopped after the cells were moved to fifty miles away and still registered the same electrical responses instantaneously. There was no lag or delay in any of the testing It was instantaneous and mind blowing. What exactly causes this energy to instantly affect cells fifty miles away? Consciousness and the energy in our environment, most of which is created by us. You make be wondering which emotion was more powerfully charged. I suspect I don’t have to tell you. Here is another example of how our energy and thoughts travel. Dr. Masaru Emoto, a researcher and alternative healer from Japan, has given the world a good deal of evidence of the magic of positive thinking. You may have heard of Dr. Emoto. He became famous when his water molecule experiments were featured in the 2004 film, What The Bleep Do We Know? His experiments demonstrate that human thoughts and intentions can alter physical reality, in this case the molecular structure of water among other things. Given that humans are comprised of at least 60% water, his discovery has far reaching implications. Can anyone really afford to have negative thoughts or intentions? source- See more at: The water experiment Through the 1990’s, Dr. Masaru Emoto performed a series of experiments observing the physical effect of words, prayers, music and environment on the crystalline structure of water. Emoto hired photographers to take pictures of water after being exposed to the different variables and subsequently frozen so that they would form crystalline structures. The results were nothing short of remarkable..As you can tell, the water stamped with positive words is far more symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing than that stamped with dark, negative phrases. You may already know that positive and negative thinking have a major impact on the surrounding environment. That concept is relatively easy to grasp, but this extremely tangible evidence of it is astounding. If the words and thoughts that come out of us have this effect on water crystals, it’s amazing to think of what kind of ef ect they have on the people and events that come into our lives. The human body being mostly water is a near awe inspiring consideration. But what about just plain old everyday items and matter. How is that affected? source The rice experiment is another famous Emoto demonstration of the power of negative thinking (and conversely, the power of positive thinking.) In this experiment, Dr. Emoto placed portions of cooked rice into two containers. On one container he wrote “thank you” and on the other “you fool”. He then instructed school children to say the labels on the jars out loud everyday when they passed them by. After 30 days, the rice in the container with positive thoughts had barely changed, while the other was moldy and rotten. – See more at: Dr. Emoto has done several experiments with how emotions affect the environment and I think it’s important to discuss. But I assure you a picture is worth a Million words in this case. just look at how a different language or words affected both rice and water. It will change the way you look at the world. Imagine that. We are interconnected. I urge you to do your own research, but I assure you one thing – our thoughts affect the environment. Not just ours but others as well. Still need more information? Try looking up what tears look like under a microscope. Tears of joy and tears of pain are remarkably different. Think it’s ironic? I don’t But the results are stunning. Shaking us to the very core of one thing. Responsibility.. The countless examples of mind over matter have been present for decades if not centuries, Why then don’t we pay attention to it? This may be the painful part. It takes some responsibility that most of us might find distasteful. There is a good percentage that just didn’t know it, but for the rest it may be just easier being a victim than being responsible for our own health and I think that’s a shame. God forbid responsibility for the health of others around us. I don’t mean to be rude here, but you know exactly what I am saying. We have constructed and developed in a competitive materialistic world where more is better. Humanity somehow has created an ego-driven world that refuses to take the responsibility. Blame is rampant and it’s unforgiving. Easier to blame something or someone than ourselves. Perhaps our ego just can’t take it. But I know one thing – it needs to stop. I get that some people want the motion that comes with pity. God knows I needed it but we clearly see recovery of our mindset is everything. I believe just knowing this has got to make a difference. Doesnt it? The next time you decide in our wonderful interconnectedness of social media to warn the world about your beliefs that something’s bad for you, think again. I realize you mean well, but understanding your magnificence comes with responsibility. Keep it to yourself please. Your nocebo could snap a switch in someone’s DNA whom you actually care about. How about that responsibility? No wonder it might be easier to argue this truth It’s just easier for some I suspect but wrong nonetheless. Being defensive about this will only be denial. The science is sound, I assure you. Don’t be afraid of it, just make a change to it. It takes effort and practise not unlike riding a bike really. We are ingrained deeply with the wrong tools its gonna take some effort to dig out of it. Imagine tomorrow that your bike now worked by pedaling backwards. It would be awkward at first but with practise you would get it. If someone helped you and nurtured you. It becomes easier. Everything does. One clear aspect of cells that we need to understand is the important conclusion by Lipton and others that have changed our understanding of the cells and its function. The cell nucleus is not the brain of the cell. Lipton was the first to discover it was actually the membrane. If you destroy the cell membrane the cell dies. If you destroy the cell nucleus it can still live. The cell membrane has the job of interacting with the environment. It is aware of the environment and it sets in motion appropriate responses to environmental signals. In our body this function is handled by the brain and nervous system. Our very perception. This is the most important discovery you have never heard of. The question is why? Cells mirror as do the organisms that are comprised of them. They replicate as a biological consequence. We have all heard the phrase “we become what we surround ourselves with” . Some other variations are we become like the five closest people in our lives. We literally mirror what we are surrounded by. But some didn’t realize that our basic cells do the exact same thing. Cells control it all or should I say our perception of the environment. Its just Biological . It’s the same reason that women who live together, menstruate together. You yawn, I yawn. It’s an inherent biological survival tool and it is absolute. It is an evolutionary conclusion dating back to the beginning of mankind. Ever wonder why a yawn is actually contagious? Are you understanding where I am going here yet? I realize this information requires us to realize how very responsible we actually are for not only our own health, but the health of others. Perhaps it’s just too much to bear for some and the resistance to this information for some will be diverted quickly. The path of least resistance is easily fueled by guilt. We shouldn’t feel guilty for yesterday’s lack of understanding, but to remain in the dark knowingly, well that’s just culpability. Dr. Wayne Dyer cracks me up every time with his words, “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you know nothing about.” He is right. Ego plays a role in our culpability, I suspect, but I urge you to understand this simple aspect of life – to evolve one must grasp the idea that we might have always been wrong or just didn’t know. It’s ok to be wrong I assure you. It’s evolution to learn something new. Mirroring is not a theory folks, it’s science. If you didn’t know it before, it’s not your fault. But what about now? Think you might be able to find something positive to say? I hope so. One thing is clear – there are financial industries that don’t want you to understand how magnificent you really are. There is just no money it it. I get it, but it doesn’t make it right. I am not exactly a conspiracy theorist by any means, but there seems to be a premeditated plan to keep people in the dark to their absolute magnificence. I don’t understand that. Well I do i guess. but i dont wanna. Businesses that profit from you ignorance reap many benefits. Buy this….it will fix ya right up. There is simply no money in it for them when you come into the light. It scares them. Its the grog in the Jar theory. Put a frog in a jar with a lid on it and condition him to jump. Eventually you remove the lid and the frog will never know how to jump out of the jar regardless of the lid being gone. Anytime you find someone who empowers you on how remarkable you are, don’t you just resonate with that person? Don’t they inspire you and make you feel wonderful? It’s not flattery alone, it’s your intuition telling you that the mushroom plan, whether planned or self-chosen, isn’t working anymore. Ya gotta pay attention to your intuition. Let me tickle it a bit more Ever wonder at what point the Government decided to put fluoride in our drinking water? More importantly why? I’ll let you do that research, but I assure you the pineal gland, also known as the seat of consciousness, isn’t very happy about it. Why did our government really care enough about our healthy white teeth anyway? Take the time to find out about the pineal gland. It may be important to understand its effect on us all. I suspect somewhere in my NDE the vibration I felt shook the gland and uncalcified it. There are ways you can do it as well without having to experience an NDE. During recent study of the pineal at an autopsy, doctors found the gland was totally stuffed full of fluoride to the degree that they wondered if it actually worked at all. The pineal is located in the brain. Do we really need a part of our brain polluted? Any part? The seat of consciousness? I wouldn’t think so. Yogis and spiritual leaders for generations understood the real purpose of the pineal gland. You should too. I won’t push the issue…as always I let you decide. But please, do educate yourself on it. It’s important. There are many effects of fluoride we should know about. I hate fear mongering but I think this is that important. It wont kill you to have a calcified pineal gland. But it may keep you in the dark. The placebo effect is in place for nearly every drug trial in this country. Want to know why? Because it allows the drug manufacturer to remove the affected person experiencing the effect from the trial. Can’t beat them….exclude them. To my knowledge there is no actively funded by Government research into the Nocebo or Placebo effect, but it is not going away and I suspect like me you see it. Why hasn’t consciousness study been funded by government. Ill let you decide. How have we been conditioned to believe that we aren’t as powerful as we are? The medical industry including pharmaceuticals is a trillion dollar industry. What exactly happens to that revenue if we came into the light of just how magnificent we really are? I don’t believe the conspiracy theory was originally intentional. I like to believe in all that’s good. But I believe it is now. This industry is quite simply TOO BIG TO FAIL. We have heard that one before haven’t we? But consider the impact of this idea. The medical industry not only employs a huge percentage of our society but the tax money alone, not to mention the politics of the health care for all train is enormous. Obama Care caused enough disention. Too late now to change our focus? Maybe. The results of the collapse of this industry could quite literally cripple our economy and they know it. I think you do too. But like all things in evolution. We find a way. We should have more faith in ourselves than that. Clearly the nurturer still has opportunities. We still need Doctors and Nurses. Even I do. Sometimes I am simply not strong enough to fight off the pain or the 40 plus years of conditioning. It will take time. But my story and millions others should be a hint that we should start paying attention. Our planet is evolving. Understanding our consciousness isn’t.. It is exactly what the NDERS are screaming about for us to pay attention. Are we are truly vested now in health care to much, I hope not and again it is the intent of this book. The box of medical dogma that’s been painted around us is clear and definitive. But I assure you, the box doesn’t exist to those who have spiritually awakened. I think it’s about time for all of us to do the same. I think you do too. Science is proving that the caregiver is just as important as the Placebo. With my doctors and caring nurses, the evidence in my case is clear. They never gave up on me. The example of the love of my sister Kate is entirely another matter. The selfless positivity and support during my time were obviously life saving. My brother priceless. None of them failed me once and the evidence is clear. I was literally saved by Love. Now I forge ahead with barely an immune system with the love of Carol and her family. My immune system just won’t recover from the depth of the end stage. It isn’t the AIDS that kills people, it;s the opportunistic infections we catch without an immune system. The flu, pneumonia or something simple and easy to cure is usually the culprit. But here I am as living testament that love does and can cure all. I have had the flu and a variety of other ailments without an immune system, but I beat them all one at a time, day by day. They still continue today. Many people comment on how positive I am all the time. Do you understand the message now? I think you do. Let me be clear on one thing – you don’t need to experience an NDE to do any of it. It certainly helped but it isn’t the only way and I know you know that. Being positive is a choice. It’s that simple. We can stand and ponder about all the things that trouble us in this world or you can just find something to be grateful for. Make a list if you have to, but find the gift. Understand that controlling your life is an illusion, but what we can control is our perception of it. Our perception defines our reality and it’s really just that simple. There is always something to be grateful for. Always. Ignore what negatives come spilling forth from people you see every day but love them all anyway. They quite honestly need it more than most. Find the peace and love for yourself and know your magnificence. Like your life depends on it. As you see….IT DOES. Understand and respect how fear creates the flight or fight response and find ways to face these fears down. There really isn’t anything to fear but fear itself, a wise man once said. How true, how true, as you can see. For those of us feeling guilty right now. STOP….its not your fault your grandparents died of cancer. We all die. But its clear not only can we harm we can help. Finding positive is not a slogan its a necessity. We can all do better. me included. This world and the environment are changing and with it comes hazards. These hazards will increase and so to will our consciousness whether we want it to or not. I just wanna help the speed of it. I wanna save as many as I can before I stand in front of that light again. I think it might just be important. Clearly what we see in the afterlife might just be a purer and lighter state of perception we bring with us. What we feel we deserve is exactly what you get. The quality of it all might just be what we’ve done for others. Might? I’m actually certain of it. One doctor, Dr. Meador, remembers all too well the implications from fear and its haunting responsibility in our lives. In 1974, Meador had a patient, Sam Longe, who was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, which in those days was 100 % terminal. Although he was treated, everyone knew the cancer would eventually win the war. No surprise that a few weeks after his diagnosis, Sam died. The real shock wasn’t the death but in the following autopsy. The autopsy showed very little cancer in Sam’s body in fact. Certainly not enough to kill him by any uncertain terms. Meador later told the Discovery Channel that Sam died with cancer but not from cancer. Meador is haunted to this day in what he wonders was “lost hope”. Everyone knew he had cancer including Sam, but did Sam actually get scared to death? Our perceptions truly are our realities clearly. One thing for me that is confusing is that I have been told twice that I was terminal, but I must point out that it was never spoken of out loud again. The one thing that differs for my experience is that after my NDE, I no longer had a fear of death. This one facet of the NDE is exactly the same in nearly all of the experiences with NDE’rs and we all think it’s important to note for obvious reasons. The things we experienced in that afterlife realm were beautiful and peaceful and full of love. The senses we experienced were realer than this human experience and it left us all with great difficulty explaining. Most of us look forward to “going home”, but remarkably the suicide rate for NDE’rs is nearly obsolete. We all seem to come back with a purpose or calling. You’re reading a part of mine. I was told there was “something important I am supposed to do”. I do it every single day by staying positive and reflecting that light onto others. I stand in the bright light of humility and share my story regardless of the haters and skeptics. I realize I am responsible for what I say, but not for what others understand of it. The synchronicity of NDE’rs understanding of judging others is clearly one lesson we all are gifted in our experience. In this understanding I see the contrast of my previous views on the very disease that rages inside me. The “gay disease” just wasn’t my issue and I sadly buried my head in the sand until it was nearly too late. I was afraid of the disease and ignored the consequences. I ignored the testing because of the stigma associated and I am ashamed of every bit of it. Obviously if I caught it earlier, I could have had a different life. HIV is a treatable condition today with proper treatment today. One thing remains certain for me in my experience. I had an experience that was exactly the time and manner and level in which I needed to evolve to the very person I am today. I suspect each NDE is in direct proportion to what we need to evolve whether we like it or not. Maybe I cheated the system because it seemed it all changed for me. What I stood for. How I see the World. How I love and am loved. But it’s obvious it wasn’t overnight. I earned my stripes, so to speak, with several years of lonely suffering and pain so great I wondered everyday if I could continue. But the love of my sister Kate got me through each day as did the after effects of the NDE. I am grateful for each day I awake and it’s the only prayer I do today. I thank God for just one more day and that’s exactly the way I take it. One day at a time. It was no coincidence that Carol came into my life at that time either. Her hope and positive belief continues to boost my spiritual immune system strong, bound with love of our souls. Time is precious and that’s the thing about life. We all think we have time. But in a blink of an eye it can all change. My question to you is what will you do with your time? it remains painfully clear that the environment plays a substantial role in our ability to harm or heal not only ourselves but others. Or should I say the perception of it. I think its time the world embrace the simple fact that we are more magnificent than we thought. The limitations you were taught only exist in your mind. Crossing the threshold of possibility and you will find probability, I am certain of it. The cosmic humor of it all is the skepticism shielding you from you inherit abilities. No one wants to be called “weird” or strange for our beliefs but in all sincerity it may just be the key. It was a constant consideration for me in telling my story. I haven’t completely evolved on it either. Im human just like you. Someone will attack me for this book I am sure. I need to be OK with that but I get that its hard. Self love is a slippery slope when we care too much about what others think. It still hurts us. Recovery is the key. I can only hope that my intent is considered throughout by open minded people. I just want to make a difference with my time. But like this chapter shows us our perception is the only control we have in this world. Rest assure no matter what you believe or do in this world. Some just won’t approve. Get over it quickly and make a choice for yourself I learned. It just that simple. Like your life depended on it. IT DOES.”

(all rights reserved Tremor Books LLc 2014)


There are new sciences finding new truths every single day…It is clear our High School biology isn’t cutting it anymore…There are secrets about your abilities we all need to know…we hope you enjoy the blog and share at your hearts convenience.  We invite you to read the rest of the book and join us Loving,Caring and Sharing….


The Things I learned in Hospice

I have yet in my time on this planet or in any other dimension for that matter, found a more powerful energy than lifting up another human being…period

Even when i was deathly ill, battling a bone marrow infection in the Tuberculosis family, having lost over 80 pounds of weight. I had some good days although rare.  The irony is I was drawn to volunteer on those days.  With little strength, and even less of the “good days” I still was drawn to go help where I could and wherever I could.  The risk I took everyday without an immune system to just being around others is staggering but yet it never even dawned on me….Why?

On a cold spring rainy day in Burlington Vermont while battling End Stage Aids with zero immune system. I found myself standing at the Special Olympics watching the most beautiful thing I had even seen.  The pure, unfiltered joy of children laughing and giving it there all.  Pouring ass rain and all there was were smiles. or at least that’s all I can remember from the long day at that track.  I was inspired by a friend and I dragged myself there but found once i got involved with helping out, I no longer was sick. I felt like the luckiest man in the universe to have been able to scrape what little energy I had to get there and witness such beauty.  I was stationed as a volunteer at the finish line on the track.  My assignment was to gather all the finishers and escort them to the medal stand.  What a job for anyone right?  Holy Cow !!!!

Can you see it…standing at the Olympic size running track finish line seeing the faces and feeling the energy of each participant crossing the “finish line”.  OHHH MYYYY…
I’ve seen a lot in my years as an Army Veteran, even more as a cop.  I’ve lived a great life and seen miraculous things in remarkable places.  But standing there that day in the pouring 50 degree day.  There was lite.  More than I can possibly explain.
I told very few about my intentions that day. I wasn’t even sure what they were.  But as always, without expectation I found more than I bargained for.  At that time in my life….that was enough.

and YES of course I got sick the next day.  Pouring rain and End Stage Aids.  Yea, you wonder why I didn’t tell anyone my intentions that day.  But the question I still ask is this.  In spite of the great danger in a time when i should focus on resting, why was I …

constantly called to help others? When ever I could, for as long as I could, as hard as I could.!!!!!!

I think it speaks volumes really in how I was able to overcome disease after disease, illness after illness.  In the last two years since the book, Ive had MRSA twice, Shingles for the fourth time, the flu, two heart procedures, brain surgery, rhabdomyosis, and countless other ailments and I got through them all.  A miracle?  hardly…but consider this again.  I did it with 1/3 of a normal immune system.  hey, 1/3 is better than where I was that cold ass day on the track volunteering for Special Olympics while fighting for my life.  I had zero immune system then.  

Pneumonia followed right behind it after that day but I got through that too.  Without antibiotics just like MRSA and every other thing.  You see I am allergic to nearly every major antibiotic on the market.  They send my body into such reactions its nearly crippling.  So all the while I continue to heal from things without a fully functioning immune system, WITHOUT THE USE OF ANTIBIOTICS.…..WHAAAAAAT…yea its all possible.

I don’t do any special diet…in fact I eat like shit.  Rarely do I have an appetite but when I do it follows cravings and I listen.  I don’t eat much, a bi product of wasting syndrome, a common affliction of people with aids.  Weight is life for me.
I don’t do any special meditations…in fact I struggle with traditional anything…but my sunrises and sunsets would blow your mind.  lol  Those are my moments…but honestly I have moments all day usually where I drift off.  Never to far away from my daydreams I always find gratitude and I can literally hear my cells sing.  Speaking to each other by and through my emotion.  

(I will note this.  Im insatiably if not near ridiculously addicted to the outdoors.  From sunrise to sunset it is where I like to be.  I try to indoors, but inevitably i find myself back outside…I just think its important to note that…for what its worth._

Look, I don’t pretend to be an expert…ON ANYTHING…but I do share whats happening and what I have done to survive things most just don’t understand.  Hell I am not sure I even do.  But I can tell you the truth.  let you find your own conclusions.  Which after all, are the most consequential anyway.  We have to have our own experiences…Something must create, spark and fuel an emotion.  Without the emotion, rarely are things ever impact-full or even remembered for that matter.  So in a world teaching us to hide our emotions I say this…Resist this conformity…PLEASE.   I honestly believe that the moment vulnerability became a weakness in this world, the whole world got cold….and angels wept and we got sicker.   It is not just important but critical that we understand emotion and the very power within.  

I tell you one thing I have learned from my time in Hospice and beyond…there is no greater force of energy than that created when lifting up another human being.  Its nearly so easy and simple we’ve nearly missed it.  I believe it helped me survive.  I know it did,  and it has become a mantra ever since.

It will become difficult to explain what happens when you sign your name into Hospice and you prepare for your death.  Suddenly your whole perspective becomes about others.  Regardless of the selfish asshole you were prior…Trust me, I know.  But even my ego asshole self found the only thing at the very end.  Was the feeling, emotion and connection of every human being along the way.  ME wasn’t the concern.  THEM was…Everyone!!!  Everyone I met and still today everyone I meet. 

If there’s ever a question about my passion for connecting others…for helping where I can and when I can…know this…I am a selfish bastard when it comes to my philanthropy…the real truth behind my selfish self is this…I HELP EVERYONE I CAN, AS LONG AS I CAN, and AS HARD AS I CAN”….because it keeps me alive without an immune system and severe allergies to antibiotics….HA
Imagine that!!!!

I hope your day is filled with the connectivity so dearly needed in a world getting more and more scared.  FEAR none of it and embrace it all.  EVERYONE has a gift….

Be SELFISH about it if you must…but do what you can and it is returned…
Love and lite to you all..

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“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt

The Whole Story

The whole truth about my story hasn’t even been told yet. I’ve told only a tenth of the miracle. I thought it might make the impact of the book more powerful. The whole truth will shock people to the very core. I’m nervous and scared about it In all honesty. It’s not easy stepping out on a limb of vulnerability that I’m about to. I assure you that you will soon understand. But I believe the message is important enough to find the courage to do so. It will take a collective of support from my friends to stand in this light of humility in more ways than the one dollar I ask for. In the end this isn’t about me it’s for others.

It’s been an enlightening experiment in humanity this crowd-funding campaign. I have been bothered by it in so many ways. I hate marketing now. I tried to make it easy by making it just about a dollar. One dollar. I tried making it easy by informing of the twenty seconds it takes to donate that dollar. Or the twenty seconds to share a post to help the outreach. I’ve explained that my book will launch a foundation called “give a buck” to help others in dire medical need showing intent and compassion like what saved me. All the while I felt guilty doing it. It has caused terrible energy within me and affected the outcome I’m sure, as well as my health and sleep patterns. My entire journey has unfolded before me at exactly the manner and time intended. I must remind myself of this now more than ever. I was told in my nde that there was something important I was supposed to do. It haunts me everyday. But my book isn’t just an nde book. It’s a story about love and its limitless potential in our lives. I have survived the near impossible and I think the story needs telling. The whole story. I won’t give up on the idea that in the end, I just want to make a difference. Everyday I put out positives and smile at the world. I cannot let this change that. I believe in the inherit goodness of all people and I’m grateful for all those who have donated their time and funds to my intent of helping others. But mostly I’m grateful for just another day. I won’t waste a minute of it. I trust that all of it happens if and when it’s supposed to. At exactly the time and manner to best teach me. So far it’s been a learning experience to say the least. I apologize for the onslaught of posts and marketing. There’s 21 days left then I’ll be back to just enlightening your days with positive posts. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Love and peace to you all.

Twenty-Seconds reviews. Amazon 5 StarReviews

Twenty-Seconds Review

by  Ann Frances Ellis PHD

Author/Owner Trail of Hope Publishing

“I read your manuscript today. All I can say is Wow! You have so much knowledge and understanding of things now! People like you coming back from NDEs have the power to change the world for the better. Help us to see things that our “dominant culture” just didn’t want to see. I know how terrifying it is to put oneself out there and let the world know who you really are.  Your book contains so much LOVE and such a high vibration, which the Earth needs at this time. You are right that people still have free will, but telling these truths will help those who are ready. I ask God to protect you and hold you in the highest LOVE and Light throughout this process of exposing yourself for the good of the world. You are very courageous. May you live long and prosper! Blessings to Carol, too. Sending you both LOVE and Light.”

Ann Frances Ellis

Trail of Hope Publishing

Tulsa OK

Lisa Johnson Hinesburg Vt

I think I need to start with thank you.  I tried reading initially with an eye toward editing and I quickly abandoned that.  I wanted to read the story first.  I’m in awe.

I have always believed that certain professions – law enforcement, military – particularly medics – were very noble professions requiring a level of selflessness and bravery.  Jobs best performed by someone who would risk themselves for the benefit of others.  The courage it takes to perform those jobs pales in comparison to the courage it took to not only survive this journey but to open up and share it with others.  Thank you for not focusing on the negative, which would have been incredibly easy and completely understandable, but instead trying to create something positive.  

I had no idea what you were going through, I can’t even imagine what it must be like.  A very dear friend used to say during his own health battle that he didn’t want to “waste his cancer”.  He wanted people to learn from his journey, to see the beauty in the small things and appreciate the love of those around him.  I don’t think I really understood his message until reading your story.  

Thank you, again

Amber Ouellet Sullivan Me

I finished it was amazing you have had a turbulent life and life changing NDE and after effects that is for sure. I love how you credit it to love because it makes so much sense. It was very inspiring for me and life changing I look at everything differently because of you. It gave me more direction and much of the book I related to.  I would shake my head in unison as if someone were here to see me nod my head. It is very relatable which I think people will gravitate to and I love that you did not hold back on anything and I think others will love and respect that too. it was GREAT.

Bridgett Stone Underhill Vt

I was captivated, and it flowed beautifully. So proud of your bravery and courage ALL along your life’s journey.

I became so captivated by the story that my inner editor retreated and I just found myself there with you.  (I have pretty strong inner editor, in every sense.)  You should take it as a compliment that I found this “presence” rather than “thinking” and being “critical” (in a loving, constructive way, of course).  It is a beautiful story, you are a beautiful soul and an inspiration and source of hope & courage for so many.  I hope you feel proud of your courage in putting yourself out there for the world and making a difference!  You’re a true hero, Bob.  Im so freakin glad we’ve re-connected to this extent and feel deeply that there is more… more lessons and gifts to be learned and shared.  You are in my prayers, Brother.  Stay strong and keep shining the Love!

Alice V. Tennis Hau’ula Ha.

I consider it an honor and a privilege to have the opportunity to share my admiration and respect for Robert M. Tremblay’s thought provoking account of his “Twenty Second” visit to Heaven’s perfected consciousness.  Robert was sent back to us with a divine mission to share with mankind, vital information that will benefit all of humanity.  A message of love and hope needed now so very desperately.

Gini Collins-Athens Ga.

I I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this read,

Your story, your experience, and all the words

in between… I could not put it down. It resonates in my very soul. It ignites hope, challenges people to open up and think! I took notes here as I read lol. I have experienced many similar things with my son, the loss of everything, and everyone… The bathroom scene… cry emoticon The experience itself moved me to tears, I had to stop a bit and just absorb it heart emoticon In my nde, the face of God was the same, but I have NEVER told anyone! All my life since, I stop and admire the aged faces… I don’t know who he was. The colors without names! As an artist and gemologist, I know exactly and felt exactly the same, I remember being shown a spectrum that was infinite, not like out tiny spectrum here. The colors had a sound and a taste and a personality it seemed…

Our sensitivities are the same, but In our suffering I’m still dealing with hurt and some anger. One of my clarities was I came away being able to see how others could heal their physical bodies, spiritual bodies and how I could help nutritionally and spiritually, but my son is stubborn and though he KNOWS this is true, he doesn’t see death as such a bad thing just the suffering getting there cry emoticon He won’t let me help like I want to! Where my frustration and anger comes in. I want to save him heart emoticon

My one word also is mercy and I ask it every day, mercy for my son, mercy for my exhaustion in this for 4 years now, I so so get it…

I love this more than I have words to say it, it is so heart wrenching, and endearing, NOT just because I know you but because it lets me in to your deepest parts of LIFE!! I just have NO words at the moment, Im sitting here in tears. The unfolding of the leaves, seeing the beauty in this life, waiting to die, lying on your grave talking… omg…

I study and read until I just fall over asleep a lot, Quantum Mechanics, Epigenetics, Energy, forgiveness, judgmental-ism, Molecular biology, Biocentrism, religion, Epigenetics totally seems right to me. We are SO in tune! Forgiveness, thankfulness, gratitude, the power of love… all of it I too lose time hours of it! I get shocked everything I touch especially in stores smile emoticon

The empath part… has been extremely difficult, I have run off so many people by feeling what they exude, I feel it to the core of me unsure emoticon You explained EVERYTHING so perfectly!! Where I am at this moment, letting go of control, and flowing into the moment, after being homeless, and finally having a roof and food, its so hard not to grasp and claw to hang on… I want to flow! Thank you so much for every word! Its absolute perfection to me!

I was so honored to read this, I cannot thank you enough.

Becky Earle Swanton Vt

I think it is fantastic! There are things I never knew about you and your dad. I love it! I have a very hard time to stop reading when I have to stop to do my work around the house!

Bob I love your book it is sooooo good! Love you!

You went through hell and you are still standing!

It took great courage and strength to write about all he has been through. His sister Kate was truly amazing and supportive throughout his journey. Great read!9781504336444_COVER.indd

Twenty-Seconds: Sixth Sense and Common Sense

Some have asked me what new “gifts” or abilities I have experienced in my awakening since my NDE.  I list them for you now but I assure you…Perception rules for me and it’s an everyday process to control and understand them all. Are they really gifts?  Just try to imagine a change like this in your life.  The hardest for me is being an empath.  Imagine knowing everyone’s baggage and energy.  Kind of funny for a guy who tries not to judge anymore to be given a “gift/curse” that defines peoples’ energy and even thought. Touching I have learned may be something to re-consider for me. It sends a surge of information through me about the person I do not ask for or want.  You can’t hide it, don’t bother trying.  Eye contact activates it as well, but not as much as touch.  In seconds my mind fills with the history of the person. Things I have no business or desire knowing.  I have come to realize that it’s free will to engage them, but it did take time to learn to shut it all off. Still working on it.  But try and hide it and it gets louder.  Your conscious energy is dying to get out.   It took six months in a house on a lake in solitude to try and accommodate these “gifts” into my everyday life.  It still is everyday a chore. People hiding bad things envelope my mind on occasion.  The more evil, the worse it gets.  I remind you it’s NOT exactly anything I asked for. I don’t want to know your problems, but I do if am not careful.  That’s a burden through and through.  You wonder why I try to affect change in others.  It may just be about my own sanity and health.  LOL.. I experience nearly every one of these things listed below and probably more.  It’s not exactly easy somedays.  But I am lucky to be here, so I accept them as my toll for passage. Some I find easier to ignore and have stopped trying to develop others.  It is a choice.  But some are not easy to control.

 One revolution has been after-death communication with the very loved ones I experienced during my NDE and many others.  Something I didn’t think possible and many others don’t either  That’s OK.  You don’t have to believe but like many things in life and death, a closed mind allows in no light.  I can tell you that it makes the idea of death a bit easier I find.  Energy doesn’t die, but it does indeed go somewhere else.  And I am telling you it’s all around you.  EVERYDAY.   Your loved ones watch everything you do everyday.  They are there at a moment’s notice.  Manifested energy of their soul is flipped on by your very loving energy.  It isn’t flipped on by your grief and tears.  That energy doesn’t respond to that type of energy.  Energy, we have been told, mirrors other energy.  But grieve if you must, I understand. But I assure you it isn’t what the loved ones want or need to help you.  If you have seen what it’s like in the afterlife, you would celebrate the passing, not grieve.  But grief is our way of dealing with the fact that we will never see them again, we have been taught.  There is more to this world than seeing, I guarantee that. It’s so simple really.   The energy I refer to is the soul.  Energy doesn’t die, but cells do.  The beauty behind death for the passed is that they are no longer restricted with a mortal human body.  This beauty is yours too. They become everywhere and everything, they see and feel you.  They can impact more of your daily life than they could in their human body. But it’s up to you to put out the right energy to access them.  It’s up to you what impression you wanna give them.  It takes time to understand that things we’ve been told in either the dogma of religion or the skeptic science organization that believes only what they feel with the five known senses.  There is more to the energy spectrum than what these senses show us.  I know you know this.  It doesn’t make you weird to accept it.  It makes you beautiful.  Your vibration will increase.

When I was first contacted, there were instructions on helping repair my family splintering in certain members of our family tree.  I did try, but to no avail.  Severed dwindling limbs of my family tree were the very root lesson of my experience.   The very love and commitment some of my family showed  me to help me survive was the living proof of how it is meant to be.  But even miracles like my survival are sometimes ignored.

Most of my family will believe it’s all about one person in my family’s choice – Jean. I assure you it isn’t.  Blame won’t help us here.  Oddly it has little to do with the fault of Jean, but many family members think it’s all her.  My lesson was directly regarding forgiveness.  Not just Jean’s.  But our own individually and then collectively. We can’t make that happen by blame.  But we can make it happen in each of us and sending the healing energy to her may change the stream.  But most haven’t realized maybe that forgiveness starts today.  Not yesterday.  You can’t change the past by forgiving, but you sure can change the future.  My father’s and grandfather’s message is clear on this issue. Those dearly departed in my family are trying to tell you something.  I am sorry it is through me, but I assure you the message will find its way, in this life or the next.  Those quickest to assign blame are missing the point of examining themselves or this issue.  They too are the ones who are denied the beautiful things I was told to share.  It’s not up to me to change others, but it is critical to share my story.  What they do with it is up to them.

I am cautious how much I share about these communications.  Lots of skeptics.  But I do pay attention to them..The family reunion that my father and grandfather helped guide me to was a complete failure.  Or was it?  The end result was defined by closed minds before they even got there.   Not only did it not make a difference for any it seems, but I was, in fact, shut down completely in even discussing it.  No one wanted me to speak.  Or I should say some didn’t.  They made it apparent before I even tried. You simply can’t hide your energy from me.  But I did try regardless.  The ones with the most to learn were the culprits actually.  Imagine that!  I believe my teachers are everyone in my path.  Sad others don’t think the same.  What lessons they all miss.  But that is free will I suppose.  I wasn’t prepared to share my direct continued communications but I was prepared to share my lessons from them.  There were specific points to a few.  Those few were the biggest opponents of hearing me out.  Funny really.  Ironic.  Some of the communications were beautiful and important.  They missed out on some tender lessons that could have changed the way they see the world.  Some are still grieving the loss of a loved one.  Carrying it like a blanket or maybe a chain.  It is with these people the messages are strongest.   Hard to make an impact to those who won’t listen.  You would think family that loves you would be the first to come with an open mind.  But not so much sometimes.

These are difficult topics I realize, but I still try.  I understand others have a choice.  But imagine how difficult it has been for me.  I didn’t ask for any of it.  I do know one thing – it’s important to share my story and I will, one way or another.  Affecting change I leave up to those delivering messages to me from here.  That’s not my circus…not my monkeys.  I tried and I believe that was enough.  I think they have released me of my mission directly.  The lesson will find its way where it is supposed to., at exactly the time and manner intended.  Following the reunion, a good number of my “gifts” were extinguished.  It’s tough to be an empath, I guess.  Most are returning slowly.  But my vibration changed that day.  Like water being thrown on a flame…literally.

Imagine the impact we have on others?  Most don’t even realize.  Through love I will re-connect to the source of it all and be thankful for everyday.  When I was sick, I started one day just thanking God everyday for just “one more day”.  It may have just been enough.  It may just be enough.  I will write my book and I will spare no truth in it.  My story will be told.  People may not like what I have to say perhaps, but I will speak the truth.  We reap what we sow in life and it has been a lesson I have paid for myself in my life.  We all have. One thing rings true and clear on this issue – don’t like what you’re reaping?  Sow something different.  Fix it.  Open your mind and pay attention to the signs along the way at a minimum. It’s important to make your own decisions on things.  But for the love of God, Listen.  Hard to do things the same way and wonder why you get the same results.

Blame will not help my family, but forgiveness will.  This was really the only message.  But it was shot down.  Too tough to look that deep into our own souls perhaps.  I’m sorry I have to look into them at all.  I’m not exactly happy about it, I assure you.  It is a shame most missed it.  Those who didn’t I hope are better for it.  My messages were not only from beyond, but were laced with love and tenderness with only the best intentions imagined.  I did try. Imagine the courage it took to try.  It’s not exactly easy admitting these things to people.  Be careful reading about my “gifts”.  Don’t catch yourself saying “that’s awesome or cool”.  Be careful what you wish for as well – it may not be a gift at all.  You take a few shots from others for believing things not in the everyday stream of knowledge or against the dogma of the world.  Being an empath, you get many, many more.  The very sharpened edge of venerability to stand before people and admit these “gifts”.  I have learned in life it is better to take an interest in things and not a position.  Positions require defending…defending is ego.  Best to keep your mind open and realize everyone can and will teach you in life.

I hope this answers some questions I am continually asked about. People may think them a benefit but I am telling you this.  They are abilities, not “gifts”.  It’s perception from there.  Mine and yours.  But respect what it takes to talk about them and then make up your own mind.  Like I said, I didn’t ask for them but there they are…everyday.  I don’t believe you have to have an NDE to experience these abilities.  But be careful what you wish for again.  Remember not everyone is open-minded. Not even the ones you think should be or need to be the most.  But love them anyway.  I forgive my family for the reunion mess.  I hope they forgive me as well.  My intentions were framed with love and from messages I simply couldn’t ignore.  I will no longer deliver messages to people who don’t want them.  But they still arrive every single day.  Nothing I can do about that but thank them and effect change for myself.  We do mirror.  We can only hope that’s enough.  But I will share my story. I am not responsible for the change of others.  But I will tell the story one way or the other.

It’s often said that you meet the answer to your problem on the very road you chose to avoid it. I am certain of this fact.  I hope any of my words prompt thought only.  I don’t try and force feed you my way as the only way.  I have a great respect for the fact that ideas you come up with on your own are the most impactual.  I assure you the answers are already inside of you if you just pay attention to your intuition when you learn something new.  But a closed mind allows no room for growth.  Ever!!!! We learn nothing believing what we did yesterday.  Forgive them all…save them all.  See beauty everywhere!!!! And the universe will reward you.  But I assure you of one thing – finding beauty in everything starts with finding it in yourself first.  Without question.  I wish you all love and peace today and everyday.

Here is a list and brief description of each ability I have been “blessed” with.  Understand I stand in the arena of doubt to share this so please respect what I have to say and the courage needed to admit it.  Decide for yourself the level of your belief.  That’s not my circus.  Many have asked about it but it took time to muster the courage to share it.  I remind myself that I am responsible for what I say, but I am not responsible for what you understand or believe of what I say.  More examples of most will be in my book and they are irrefutable. Some I just won’t share…they are all mine !!!


It’s the art of ‘seeing’ with senses beyond the five we normally use. Clairvoyance is often called the ‘sixth sense’ or E.S.P It is related to the images that are always present in your mind but you do not connect to. You will experience images, colors, and often animated scenes. This is the ability that most readers, psychics, clarirvoyants, possess. Clairvoyance is like a second level of thought, one step higher than the normal level of thinking that we all do, Clairvoyants can work at that level to *see* beyond what we normally *see*. 


It’s the ability to *hear* beyond the normal range of hearing like messages in thought forms from an spirit who exists in another realm. You ‘hear’ what they are saying in thought form messages or in normal human hearing You may actually hear spirits talking in your head yet there is no sounds. Many of us receive messages this way from spirit guides. When a person loses a loved one they often receive messages from them. Many of us become aware of this skill when we are in danger and that ‘little inner voice’ sends a warning. This causes us to respond instantly though we are not sure why. Clairaudience can be known as the * voices in the head* 


Clairsentience is the ability to *feel* things that *something’s there but I can’t see it* ability. A lot of people have this ability but do not know that they possess it A tickling sensation on the hand or face during meditation. A pressure on the top of the head when talking or connecting with a Spirit. Hairs on the back of the neck standing on end when a spirit is near. A sensation in the left side of the face when talking with spirit. A floral smell… A movement as a flick of white, purple, or blue light. Seeing shadows in the periphery of your field of vision 


Awareness of an spirit on the other side by the sense of taste. A sense experienced in the mouth. It could by a favorite food associated with a deceased entity, or in many instances the way a deceased person prepared the food to taste 


Empathy is the ability to *Feel* emotional, mental, physical and spiritual energy level and can be read as images or feelings, an empathic person can find they are able to sense things with a person that others can not sense Empathic can also be called *sensitives*, and sometimes can actually *read* people 


Moving objects from one place to another without using physical contact. The re-shaping of objects using the mind’s energies, such as bending a spoon, or key, by just holding it and focusing. The energy to move or bend an object is created by a person’s thoughts created by their subconscious mind. Your energy levels must be very high. 


It involves mind to mind contact – communication – of one mind with another by means beyond the normal or ordinary beyond the frequencies of the five physical senses – sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell. Telepathy is sending of thoughts from one person to another without using the usual sensory channels of communication, a form of extrasensory perception (ESP). 


Precognition is supernormal knowledge of future events, with emphasis not upon mentally causing events to occur but upon predicting those the occurrence of which the subject claims has already been determined. Like telepathy and clairvoyance, precognition is said to operate beyond the range of the normal senses and thus to be a form of extrasensory perception. 


This generally refers to the ability to gain impressions by holding an object. All objects carry frequencies. Therefore all objects will bring you images and mental thought forms, a person using this ability can sense illness, disease, pain and images of things that are connected to the item without knowing anything about it or the person/s involved with it.

One Gift – or perhaps curse – perception is everything in direct relationship to all things that use energy. Equipment and electronics of any kind are difficult for me to be near.  If it is powered by energy, it reacts to me.  I am not alone in this.  Most experiencers relate to what I am saying here.  Wrist watches, computers, tv’s, cameras etc.  If it uses energy I can blow it up or at least disturb its normal operation.  It becomes a bit exhausting honestly. It isn’t occasionally, it’s constant and requires respect to manage it.  Especially for my loved ones.  Carol has gotten used to it and reminds me often to stay clear when she is working on something involving power of any kind.  We have discovered if I stay at least 12-16 feet away, the interference diminishes enough to continue.  Much depends on my vibration or balance at the time of usage.  I have not found a way as of yet to limit the cause and effect.  But it is getting expensive. lol

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The best gift is in the things I am allowed to see nearly everyday.  I am privy to rare moments in nature that most think is luck.  But I assure you it is like everything in life, we get what we give.  If we give energy that’s beautiful and if we vibrate differently, we are allowed more access.  I am thankful for this every day.   Rare moments in nature typically not seen by most.  Animals that react and are drawn to me.  Animals can teach us a lot about people.  Their lack of verbal communication makes them energy viewers.  They don’t smell fear or danger, they sense it better than we read.  They sense the beauty and peace in others too, I assure you.  It is indeed a gift to witness things like this that are rare and special.  I feel privileged.  My payback is to thank the universe and more is revealed.  There are many other examples of things like this in my book upcoming.  The things we are allowed to see if we vibrate differently may just be endless.  I remind you all that the typical human feels and senses only 10% of the “known” electromagnetic spectrum.  We miss more than we see or feel, it’s a fact.  That’s 90% we miss.  That’s 90% of what we even know about.  But to see a portion of this 90% we have to believe.  When we believe we achieve.  I don’t see 100% I assure you, I am working on that, but I am happy for what little bit more I am allowed.  It is possible, but like everything we talk about, unable to prove, but I believe I see more stars than I used to.  Perception is everything.  Not long ago I posted a picture of a rock I found that intrigued me.  It haunted me for days on end.  Most said “it’s just a rock”.  It was this point that made me realize that I see beauty in everything.  The rock didn’t haunt me – others’ perceptions did. I realized perhaps defining things and categorizing things may be the reason I see differently.  Categorizing it stops the flow of brainwave to see the beauty in it. You just stop appreciating it because you defined it.  It doesn’t need a name or title.  It’s not just a rock.  When it became just a rock, it stopped sharing its energy.  It is great to not need to label things.  I hope this gift never changes.  It’s a great way to live.


Twenty-Seconds A True account of Survival & Hope

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I was diagnosed terminal and in and out of consciousness for several 

weeks. I had been told there was no help on too many planes to 

explain here. Regardless, I was 39 days into a 30 day life 

expectancy. I weighed not only the opportunity for assistance but the 

practicality of it as well.

I slept for hours during the days and nights. I was sicker than sick. 

My doctors later explained, “That I was the sickest any human being 

could ever be.” I was at the very doorway of death in both mind and 

body. Most of my memory of those days is limited to say the least as 

are any recollections of any dreams. Dreams were just seemingly 

non-existent for me and, honestly, are still rare today. But the one 

memory and the events surrounding it marked a definitive turning 

point for me and still remains as the most vivid experience of my 

life. It also marks the most defined crossroads of my life as well. I 

assumed at the time that it was a dream. Nothing in my frame of 

reference could explain the details to me or content. At the time 

this “dream” seemed real. It was realer than real — wetter than 

water. The realest thing to this date I have encountered in my life. 

It wouldn’t be until three years later that I was further enlightened 

to what the meaning of this “dream” actually was. It was no dream. 

It’s long and detailed so decide now if the 10 minutes is worth your time.

This is a deeply personal experience for me and there are lessons for 

everyone in it, especially for my family. But it is still long and I 

want you to earn the right to read my experience so to speak. THAT 

“EARNING” IS YOUR INVESTMENT OF TIME. It takes some open mindedness. 

Those who don’t continue reading from here are absolutely OK with me. 

It takes a commitment to read something that someone unveils through 

great humility and vulnerability. To bleed this information onto this 

page was not easy for me. I have to love myself to place myself in 

the range of skeptics and doubters. Hell, I was one of them. 

Therefore, you have to earn that. This takes a commitment of time 

that you may decide right here isn’t worth it. Whether you think you 

can learn something or not, you are right. But before you label me 

“weird”, which I am OK with by the way, perhaps you will want to do 

it with information to support your “judgments” and not a 

pre-determined opinion based on little or no information which I 

believe happens way too often in this world. Here is some information 

you will need to make an educated choice on what I am all about. Here 

is my near-death experience (NDE):

I found myself in an open expanse of darkness. Oddly, it surrounded 

me and, even odder, I could seemingly see 360 degrees without turning 

my head. I just knew it was endless.

There was a noise or maybe best stated a vibration or humming noise. 

The noise didn’t scare me; in fact, it seemingly calmed me. In the 

distance there was a soft and peaceful reddish glow. It grew larger 

and larger. It seemed red; but as I got closer, it appeared peach 

colored — pink and orange even. To this date describing the colors 

is still difficult for me because I just can’t say I have ever 

experienced colors so vivid and brilliant. Almost like the phases of 

a cloud cluttered sunset or sunrise. How the colors evolve with the 

slipping sun and reflected onto the clouds.

I didn’t move but could certainly feel the glow getting larger and 

larger as if I were rushing to it without effort. There was no tunnel 

as some report. The glow emanated from what appeared to be the lip of 

what I perceived as like the edge of a volcano for lack of better 

previous memory recall.  It is almost ineffable really to describe, 

so I tried to piece it together with the framework of my current 

memory data banks — a volcano. The edge curved but only slightly but 

definitely rounding in each direction to an expanse that seemed limitless.

Suddenly I was on the edge and then some. My feet dangled so far over 

the edge that it would seemingly be impossible to maintain balance 

but that wasn’t a problem. I felt weightless and at great peace. The 

glow of red now seemed pinkish and orange and was clearly not a 

volcano; but as I peered over my toes there was no end below. Nor was 

there an end to the lip or the darkness around me. It was a void. 

There was no heat or lava — just a harmonic hum and a specific odor 

that I didn’t recognize. I remember thinking, “I don’t ever recall 

smelling anything in a dream.” The smell, I could actually taste — 

like after a thunder storm — that crisp but refreshed smell. It was 

almost lightly like ammonia, but I later realized it was almost like 

the smell of an ozone machine but crisper.

The edge of the glow expanse curved out of view endlessly making me 

realize or “know” there was no end to it. It wasn’t the mouth of a 

volcano, it was obviously too expansive, but it did bend.  I wasn’t 

frightened. I wasn’t confused either. In fact, I was at the greatest 

peace of my life as I’ve known it to this day. My feet were 

three-fourth of the way over the edge.

Without any hesitation, a bright light shaped ball or mass appeared 

before me. It seemed just out of reach although I didn’t try to reach 

it. It was like a giant ball of light swirling into itself and 

rotating in nearly every direction. It was highlighted by blue 

streaks as it seemingly swirled in what seemed to be every direction. 

It wasn’t perfectly round. It appeared almost jagged and occasionally 

squeezed occasionally into almost a thick doughnut shape structure of 

pure energy. When this happened, I could see what appeared to be the 

center of a whirlpool for lack of better terms where it all seemed to 

merge. In the center it was a darker blue/black center. Everything 

seemed to go there and disappear with streaks of light blue 

indicating direction. As I focused on this center, it began to 

distort and glow brighter with streaks of blue that began to outline 

the shape of a face emerging. The “mass” of light increased in 

brightness continually but it didn’t make me squint or shield my 

eyes. It made me feel better and more peaceful as it grew in intensity.

As the light intensified, so did the harmony of it and vibration. 

Suddenly there was a face that was definitive and energized — the 

face of a man — older and weathered in appearance. The face ONLY 

appeared and consumed the mass of light. The high point and low 

points of detail were expressed in tones of light. The high points 

were more bluish. His hair was longer and had gentle waves, not 

tight, but rolling down past what I assumed were shoulders but 

unseen. He looked somewhat familiar or felt familiar I should say. 

There was a burst or vibration from him that I could feel down to the 

very core of my body. It was like the most comfort I have ever felt. 

It was like a summer breeze in your face without a care in the world. 

I no longer felt pain as in my awakened state which had been intense. 

It was only peace to the extent of nothing I had ever experienced. He 

had no facial hair to speak of, but the weathered look of his face 

was clearly defined in tone.

THEN THERE WERE WORDS! There was no speaking as the figures lips 

never moved nor did mine. But there were words. It was a question, 

“Are you ready?” Vague but decisive and I felt no ambiguity in its meaning.

I replied but my lips didn’t move and I have no memory of actually 

speaking. But this was my reply. I simply said, “No, I’m not ready 

yet.” This in and of itself was odd because I had already given up 

and was ready to die in my awakened state and body. But evidently, I was not.

Then more words, “There is something important you still need to do” 

and at the same time I “felt” these words came with a smile beginning 

to form on the man’s face as more rays of light began to shoot out of 

nearly every part of his face.

I reached for his face, unafraid but exploring. Just without thought, 

I reached for his face and placed my hands on his cheek. I had 

originally thought he would have been well out of my reach suspended 

over the expanse but he wasn’t. I realized the red, pink, orange, 

peach colored glow was gone and all that remained was the white 

radiant light from the orb continually increasing in brightness and 

hum. I reached out slowly and deliberately and touched his cheek. My 

body vibrated and the light grew again in intensity and brightness as 

his smile expanded. He was brighter than the sun but not yellow. He 

was pure white. This touch lasted for what seemed like forever but 

yet quick. It’s hard to find words to describe the sense of time I experienced.

As the light became brighter, so did the hum and the vibration and 

his smile widened until it distorted the image of his face.  I felt 

as if I was falling but hadn’t moved.

Suddenly, there were valleys and mountains and streams and small 

specks of numerous people and animals in the expanse below me. It was 

a brief but it was a complete vision of a peaceful place void of 

definable color. But it was the greatest source of peace I had ever 

felt even to this day.

The entire field of view became this white light and I felt 

weightless as it engulfed me. There was a sense of speed somehow as I 

felt what seemed like my body travelling at speeds blurring my view.

Within seconds I awoke at my hospital bed. I was scared but yet 

peaceful. I remember thinking “volcano” if that makes any sense. I 

immediately assumed my encounter was a dream; but yet somehow I knew 

it wasn’t deep inside me. Within minutes of this experience, I 

purposely and incessantly asked to see all of my doctors. At the same 

time and without effort, it happened. There were exactly twelve of 

them. I asked each to speak their mind and explain “my options” and 

“chances”. Each doctor did with fluent quick responses and I looked 

in the eyes of each of them as they spoke. I was focused and 

attentive. I felt things coming from each of them it seemed; but I 

could not understand it all. They all looked at me oddly as if 

wondering where all my control had suddenly come from considering my 

nearly comatose state since my arrival.

I spoke to them as a group and told them I had to live. I told them 

specifically that there “was something important I was supposed to 

do” and this day marked the beginning of life saving treatment that 

would take nearly three years and lead me to this moment today. There 

were several hurdles in that three years including a two month stint 

in hospice that I miraculously got better in and exited accordingly. 

All still unexplained by my doctors.

What I had recognized in my daily struggles was that there were 

distinct differences in my character and habits and viewpoints along 

the way. I just assumed I was grateful to be alive; but I documented 

the strange changes in personality as I recognized them. In 

retrospect the list grew to nearly 15 pages of changes I had 

realized. Some of you have seen a few. The list still grows to this day.

Around Christmas of 2013, nearly three years later, as I neared what 

appeared to be the end of my battle, I received a calendar as usual 

at Christmas from my mother with several pictures on it she had made. 

It was a ritual in my family to get this calendar every Christmas 

from Mom. We all look forward to it and it is a staple of each of our 

homes all year without fail. We all fought for “the cover” photo as 

we call it; and it’s been a tradition and passion for my Mom for some 

time now. By the way, we still jokingly jockey for the cover photo 

each and every year. LOL.

As I scanned the calendar, I came across a picture of a man. 

Instantly, I was weakened and literally fell back in my seat. I was 

stunned. My breath was stolen from me instantly. The man on that 

calendar had the same face in the giant mass of light I had 

experienced at deaths door in my “dream”. It was the same face but I 

still didn’t know who it was. The man I was told — once I could 

muster the question — was my Grandfather Trombley. He had died in 

1956 well before my birth and as a result had never been a part of my 

life. In detail or in pictures, there was no possible way I could 

recognize this man as I had never seen even a picture of him. Nor had 

I had any direct knowledge of his life or character previously. This 

was the day I realized that my “dream” was directly influenced by 

someone already departed.

In the next few months I discovered the near-death experience (NDE) 

and its history in our society. I was never a believer in these 

events as perceptual prejudice dictated otherwise — a mass delusion 

I would often say. Although it was clear to me at this point that my 

“dream” was a near-death experience.

But I hadn’t actually died — or had I? Well, this is where the world 

changed once again for me. Things started “happening”. I couldn’t get 

enough information and I still have an insatiable desire for 

information. Theories of things pop into my mind on topics I 

previously never cared about. Oddly, I couldn’t and still can’t read 

others NDE. I just couldn’t seem to do it and still can’t. But, what 

I was insatiable about was the recorded and well documented and 

researched “aftereffects”. I compared my recorded aftereffects to 

several lists developed by researchers and scientists. As you can 

imagine, the changes I documented were almost exactly the same as 

millions of near-death experiencers around the world. This 

realization happened almost three years from the actual event — 

exactly the time frame recorded in research as the time frame the 

majority of near-death experiencers go through until their 

“awakening” or realization of the event and acceptance of the same.

Without trying I had evolved to a higher consciousness. I had 

changed. Just like the others had at exactly the same time frame as 

the others. I had assumed you had to die to have these experiences 

prior and had heard, like you, about these experiences. Come to find 

out you don’t have to actually die to have a NDE. It’s a “near” death 

experience. I previously wrote them off to some metabolic brain 

malfunction at the time of death I guess — deaths illusion. I was 

not a believer. I am now obviously.

The NDE is different for each of us. They are not all typical. But 

the aftereffects, brain shift and timing are identical. You can’t 

ignore each experience or rationalize it in any way you want. You 

can’t ignore millions of people who changed all at once in mass 

numbers after an experience like this. It’s hard for people to change 

anything about themselves let alone major shifts in personality. 

That’s just unexplained for most. But not so for us.

Since my awakening, I research. I read and learn, and learn and read. 

It’s not all NDE stuff — very little in fact. It’s things like 

quantum physics and science. I have theories, which I don’t ask for 

on topics I should care nothing about, pop into my head a hundred 

times a day. It is a sixth sense that took me some time in seclusion 

to control and understand. Epiphanies of life’s greatest questions 

and some questions I never even considered. Sometimes they flow with 

such ease that I often just burst into laughter. Most importantly, I 

have a love for others I simply can’t ignore.

Then there’s the “calling”. We all experience the same calling to 

better mankind in some way. In fact, it seems the only question I 

can’t answer in life is the one thing said in my NDE. I am “supposed 

to do something important.” This remains the carrot I will forever 

chase; and I am perfectly OK with it. I have found that the path of 

life is easy when you understand that everyone and everything along 

the path is not for a reason, but for a purpose. EVERYTHING! It’s 

free will that allows me to choose what I pay attention to. There is 

a “oneness” to the universe — a single common component to 

everything and every person right down to each atom. It’s energy.

The foundations of the universe and the epiphanies I see every day 

are too numerous and mind numbing to go into. I’ll spare you the 

details. I just “know” things now that I don’t ask or seek. I just 

“know”. It just comes to me. I am not alone with this. It happens to 

most all of us who go through an NDE. But the question still remains, 

“What do I do with it?”

I have a pretty good idea. I will write and share and find peace in 

the fact that change is up to the individual. It’s free will and it’s 

yours to choose. But I will share it. What you do with it is up to 

you. But I do realize the fact that my guide in my NDE was a family 

member with a message — a message for many in my family. The fact it 

was someone I had never known due to death is not the message. The 

fact that I didn’t know that branch of my family well IS the message. 

The division in some of the limbs of my family tree has withered and 

I know why. I also know someone wants it changed. I do not take this 

responsibility on myself. They will take it from here. And yes there 

are others. But one of my callings was to share it with my family and 

others and I consider that now complete.

I have learned that love can do many things. The love and commitment 

from my living family got me here today. I learned that the love from 

my family’s past showed me the light of that love beyond from beyond.

The experience changed me greatly and I researched my theories on 

change. One thing was clear: change doesn’t happen yesterday. It’s 

about forgiveness. They showed me that as well. I will share them as 

I go. There are too many things to talk about regarding lessons from 

beyond. I will share them at my family reunion on July 6th and from 

there I will depart for Arizona. If you attach a new idea to a great 

emotion, just maybe it impacts people and causes similar brain 

shifts. At a minimum, it provokes thought in others.

Nearly a year after the experience, I found myself in hospice once 

again terminal. I found a way; but I suspect finding a way was 

actually giving in. I was releasing the stress and worry and just 

accepting it. I never felt more at peace than when I was in hospice. 

Two months into my hospice journey, I gained sixty pounds and felt great.

It was back to the doctors to find out why. There it was again. All 

traces of the disease killing me were gone — without drugs and 

without medical treatment of any kind. Poof! It was gone. There is no 

medical explanation for it to this day. Nurses at the hospital said I 

was a gift from God. I think we all are obviously.

Surviving the impossible yet again, I wanted to know why. I 

researched and explored the great epiphanies I had several times a 

day. It was a knowing of things I shouldn’t have known. Here are some 

things I found that supported my thoughts:

This blog with be a small sample of things I was shown in the light 

such as how my vibration changed. I will post the research material 

next. Then I will discuss the “aftereffects”.

I hope you enjoyed one of the most humbling experiences of my life. 

It takes a lot to bleed all over these pages in the manner I just 

did. I pray perceptional prejudice doesn’t interfere with the quality 

of what you learn here. I pray you apply it to your own families. 

It’s never too late to make a change in family. One clear thing about 

family you can take from me is this: in the “end” it’s all about family.

Today I am cancer free with the rest of my life ahead of me. I 

understand the flow of life and the universe and think it’s funny 

actually how easy it really is.

I have no fear of death in the same way that all near-death 

experiencers have no fear of death. We know death is the prize actually.

I have also realized irrefutable things to be true: there is always 

life — even after death. The energy goes somewhere. It goes 

everywhere. But the very energy that powered the person in life is 

the same energy that seeps into our very mind daily. We miss them; 

but they are right there all the time. There is always life. Don’t 

waste a minute … NOT ONE SINGLE MINUTE OF LIFE … Reap it …

Robert Tremblay